& We Were Back at the Hospital

Dear Ian,

Never would I have guessed that your first visit “staycation” would actually be back in the hospital where you were born.

At 18 days old, you came down with a fever. I rushed to the hospital as soon as I knew you were ill and was told by your PD to admit you immediately. They had to run tests to find out the cause of your fever so they can administer the appropriate medication. Daddy was sick and the pd suspected that you might have caught it from him except that it manifested differently and more seriously since your immune system is weaker as a newborn. I was extremely worried when the pd said she had to check the extent of the severity if it was any bacterial infection. This means she will be running blood tests to see if there was any bacteria in your bloodstream or brain. We were expected to stay in the hospital for 4 to 21 days depending on your results. The only comforting thing at that point was that I will be able to stay with you since you are exclusively on breastmilk.

My greatest fear as a mother would be to see my children ill or in pain. Your big brother had been hospitalized a couple of times when he was younger and every time I think of him and the plug they set on his tiny hand back then, it still makes me cringe. The thought of you having to go through the same thing now breaks my heart. I can only console myself knowing that this is the only way you can get better. Luckily for us, your PD is extremely experienced and it only took her 1 try to get the needle into your vein.

Plug was set on your right hand

The days were long and the nights were longer. We spent the 5 days together, just you and me. I remember taking naps on and off and then I got to a point of being beyond tired that I was just stoned. I’d stare the the tv at night not knowing what I was watching just to stay awake in case I fell into a deep sleep and not hear you when you need me. You had your own crib but you slept better next to me so I put you on a pillow on my bed. See how you would always lean towards my side?

The test results came back the next day and true enough, you had bacterial infection in your blood. You had to have a lumbar puncture to see if there was any bacteria in your brain. I cannot imagine the pain it must have been for you since this needle will be on your spine. The good thing is, the results came back showing you were clear of the infection in your brain.

For the remaining days in the hospital, you fed alot which is really good for your recovery. In fact, you put on a little bit of weight too. I had to get the nurses to shower you because I did not know how to shower you when you had the plug on.

After your 5 day stay at the hospital, we can finally go home. This was how much you have grown over the 5 days.

The PD and hospital staff were nothing short of helpful and professional but we certainly do not wish to be back here again.

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